Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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