My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
