Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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