So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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