the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhhâ€
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