my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
