He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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