hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
