so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
