How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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