you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
