I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
