ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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