I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I think pants incapable of making pants work
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
