I just saw a hot homeless man
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
