when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
