Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
