Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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