oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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