So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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