she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
