i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
