Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
