I am in a vortex of obligation.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I deserve this hangover.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize