So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
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