Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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