I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
my poor anus
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
