Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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