i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
