I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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