i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize