Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
