If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
