Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
