how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
