I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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