i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
4 words: hood of his car
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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