glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
