i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
