I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
