you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
