We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
