Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
