i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
