Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
