Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
