Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
