i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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