He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
