totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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