no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
