It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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