Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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