so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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