JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
