38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
We smell like vodka and hangover
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize