WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
