I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
